Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate With Your Baby
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1) Slow down with your baby - go at your newborn's pace, which is way, way slower than you'd expect
2) Respect your baby's personhood - develop an attitude toward your baby like they are a person who is in the room, which they are! Let them know what you're going to do next ("Now we're going to change your diaper... Now it's time to eat... Now it's time to go to sleep...")
3) Give your newborn a tour of the house when you first arrive home from the hospital, or, i
My big take-aways from this book:1) Slow down with your baby - go at your newborn's pace, which is way, way slower than you'd expect
2) Respect your baby's personhood - develop an attitude toward your baby like they are a person who is in the room, which they are! Let them know what you're going to do next ("Now we're going to change your diaper... Now it's time to eat... Now it's time to go to sleep...")
3) Give your newborn a tour of the house when you first arrive home from the hospital, or, in case of a home birth, shortly after delivery.
4) Newborns have a very cyclical rhythm to their eating and sleeping patterns - once you discover it and get in tune with it, it becomes much easier to help the baby be comfortable and happy.
Great book. It may seem silly (or obvious) to focus on talking to your baby like they understand you and including them in on stuff, but doing so really helps YOU, the parent, keep ever-present with the fact that you have a whole person on your hands that you're tending to.
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The helpful things she does have, like the feeding and activity chart, and the list of baby's cues can be found online for FREE.
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People complain that she bases everything off of experience and not science and that she doesn't know anything about breastfeeding. Well, I've read two la Leche League books and I really have had enough of th
I really loved this book. I will recommend it to everyone who would like to understand how their baby communicates. I really feel like I can understand what my babies are saying and asking. I like the author's style of writing because I felt like she was my friend and right here helping me.People complain that she bases everything off of experience and not science and that she doesn't know anything about breastfeeding. Well, I've read two la Leche League books and I really have had enough of their information, so her ideas were refreshing and helped me to not feel guilty about my decisions to cut back on my breastfeeding the boys so that I can be a better mother to them. You obviously feed hungry babies and you don't go longer than 3 hours between feedings until your baby is 4 months old. So, it seems right on to me.
I LOVE her ideas about flexible routines: E.A.S.Y (Eat, Awake, Sleep, "You"). It's not as rigorous as Babywise and it's very baby friendly. You learn how to read your baby's cues and to know what their language means. I am calmer around my boys and I move slower too. She has great ideas about calm baths and my boys haven't cried once since I started following her advice. She describes infant massage in a way I can understand.
Where sleep problems are concerned, her ideas are the best for us. She isn't for making a baby crying it out alone, nor does she take the polar opposite of sleeping with your baby and feeding them all night long. You stay with your baby at their crib and help them fall asleep w/o you rocking and holding them for hours. This has saved our lives because we were rocking Clark to sleep for hours and he'd wake up screaming as soon as his little body touched the crib. After your baby is 3 months old, she has a Pick Up, Put Down method where you pick up your baby and soothe them but as soon as that need is met you lay them back down. (This is if you've done "accidental parenting" which is what we did and you need to fix your problems).
If you already have big problems or you need to help your baby learn to sleep in their own crib after sleeping with you, please read this book before you make them cry it out :-) If it doesn't work and CIO is best for you, then by all means, do that. She says that too. Tom and I have tried PU/PD for two days now and we had to pick up Clark 23 times the first night, five the second, and tonight he went down the first time.
She also has a DVD that I checked out from the library. More great info on that as well.
She has a second book "The baby Whisperer Solves all Your Problems" which is if you are starting her method after your baby is born and you have problems. I'm reading this one right now and it is a necessity if your baby is already here or older than 3 months.
Anyway, that's my review.
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Oh! Also! We get that you're British. You don't need to continue saying things like "duckie" and "luv" every other sentence. I figured it out the first time.
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Hogg's basic idea isn't terrible - it's the guilt she assigns to anyone who doesn't use or can't follow her method. I was in tears more than once because I felt like a failure when her advice wasn't working. One day I literally threw the book against a wall with frustration. I think that action surprised enough to see
At first the advice in this book seemed so logical that I was excited to have a plan for how to be a mom for the first time. Once my son arrived, I decided that this book was evil.Hogg's basic idea isn't terrible - it's the guilt she assigns to anyone who doesn't use or can't follow her method. I was in tears more than once because I felt like a failure when her advice wasn't working. One day I literally threw the book against a wall with frustration. I think that action surprised enough to see how ridiculous it was to call myself a failure because her method wasn't working for my son and me.
I found other methods and other sources of advice that didn't heap on so much guilt and my son and I are enjoying each other very much now.
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Since most parenting books do that, it really wouldn't have been that bad if I didn't find many of her ideas completely outdated and/or laughably unrealistic (Mom should take a nap every day from 2-5 while an endless stream of visitors, who apparently don't need to have jobs themselves, come to babysit and do light housework? Yeah, must be nice!). For a book written in 2000, she spends an awful lot of time talking about dads as the dum-dum partner who needs to be given "concrete tasks" so that he can "feel involved" ... with his own baby! And moms, you have to remember not to criticize how dad puts on the diaper because "he's learning" (as if mom isn't, too??) and you're "encouraging him to be a parent." Of. His. Own. Baby. She also has scorn for women who do extended nursing because OBVIOUSLY they must be doing it for themselves and the secret joy and power trip over dum-dum dad they get from having a toddler treat their nipples like a door knob. Hogg also states that she does not advocate beginning bedtime stories until the baby is 6 months old and can sit up and focus. Goodness gracious! As a literacy specialist, that line is enough to make me want to burn this book and give it a one star rating, or negative stars if I could. To be fair, though, she never says not to read to your child at all until 6 months, only that she doesn't advocate bedtime stories until then, which is what saved the book from the fire. But, codswallop! Poppycock! Read from birth! Read from birth!!!
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When my son was less than 6 weeks old, I thought the author's E.A.S.Y. method was bunk. I mean, if a baby wants to fall asleep while eating, no cajoling seems to help. But by the time he was 2-3 months old, I realized he was on E.A.S.Y. - eat, activity, sleep, you time. And I was saner for it.
I read the b
I knew zilch about babies, so my friend picked this up for me at the library. In those first few weeks, I found the book helpful because it had charts to help with understanding a baby's cues.When my son was less than 6 weeks old, I thought the author's E.A.S.Y. method was bunk. I mean, if a baby wants to fall asleep while eating, no cajoling seems to help. But by the time he was 2-3 months old, I realized he was on E.A.S.Y. - eat, activity, sleep, you time. And I was saner for it.
I read the book out of order, tackling the subjects as I needed help with them. One of the first chapters has a little quiz to see what sort of baby yours is (Angel, Textbook, Spirited, Grumpy), and I actually read that one last. Some of the questions didn't really apply to a newborn, so I took it when my son was 4 months old. Seems he's a Textbook baby.
I liked her perspective, too. Some of her ideas seemed a little over-the-top, but mostly she had very good advice.
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Just a few rea
This book is so full of misinformation that it would be comical if Tracy Hogg wasn't intending for it to be actual parenting advice. I should have known that a woman who left her own children across the ocean to become a "parenting consultant" for Hollywood families would have nothing useful to say about actual parenting. Seriously - check out the reviews on the back cover - they are all from actors, producers, etc. rather than from pediatricians, nurses, or (gasp!) ACTUAL PARENTS.Just a few reasons why I hate this book:
1) She calls herself a "lactation educator" and then proceeds to outline a feeding plan that will virtually guarantee a loss of milk supply. I'm pretty sure the Similac and Enfamil literature is more pro-breastfeeding than Hogg.
2) She believes that if your baby is not sleeping through the night by 3 months old, it is because you have trained your baby to wake up.
3) She thinks that a newborn baby can go 3-4 hours between feedings.
4) She refers to the reader as "ducky" and "luv" and has a condescending tone that grates on the nerves almost as much as her misinformation.
Her "EASY" routine is fine, but that is the only good nugget of information in this book, and that same routine can be found from about a million different sources. I get the feeling that Hogg really screwed up with her own kids and is now trying to make herself feel better by screwing up kids all over America.
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Also, respect your baby and move at their pace! Our lifestyles are far too busy and fast paced for our littles.
This went on for a few weeks...Then her naps went all screwy. And she started waking up at night. And her naps got worse. Which made me want to throw away this book in frustration because I was trying to follow it to a tee and it was not working!
I still don't know what i
I'm giving this five stars because I read it in one day, put my two month old on the E.A.S.Y. routine the next day, which she took to immediately, napping like a champ, and she slept through that night. That very night! Amazing!This went on for a few weeks...Then her naps went all screwy. And she started waking up at night. And her naps got worse. Which made me want to throw away this book in frustration because I was trying to follow it to a tee and it was not working!
I still don't know what it is--are all babies different, and it's impossible to really put them on set routines at three or four months, no matter what the baby whisperer says? Or am I doing something wrong (whether b/c I'm reading it wrong or the whisperer has left out important details)? Or is my baby just going through a little phase and she'll get back on routine soon? I don't know! But my baby is still sleeping eight to 10 hours at night, just usually with a snack after about six hours (understandable, I think). Her naps don't go according to plan mainly, I think, because of life. And I let this book make me feel pretty darn guilty about it until I decided, screw it, you guys. If my kid is happy for the most part, sleeps some during the day (preferably in her crib, but yes, sometimes in my arms or being worn, etc.), and is sleeping that much at night, then I can count my blessings. And she can learn how to properly fall asleep when she's not, you know, just a little tiny baby. We'll get there.
So! Don't let this book make you feel guilty. Try to do E.A.S.Y., but for real, when it says sometimes you have to be flexible, they should bold that shit because you need to be flexible.
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Which, I get ... you can't apply one parenting concept to every kid. That said, what I liked about Tracy's take on parenting versus some other articles (even books) I've read is how she really drills in this idea that, YOU GUYS--IT'S COMMON SENSE. Yes, paren
Oooh did I enjoy this parenting book. I really did. Now, I've since read a critique from a mother of two who liked Tracy Hogg's take on "E.A.S.Y." parenting too —- until she actually HAD the baby. And then discovered it's not a perfect mold.Which, I get ... you can't apply one parenting concept to every kid. That said, what I liked about Tracy's take on parenting versus some other articles (even books) I've read is how she really drills in this idea that, YOU GUYS--IT'S COMMON SENSE. Yes, parenting is hard. But so much of it is in the approach, and the more even-keeled you are about it, the better off your baby is going to be.
Ahhhh...reassuring words to someone who, despite her best efforts, feels like she can't go anywhere these days without getting conflicting parenting advice from family/friends or coworkers.
Overall, Tracy's biggest recommendation is to get your child on a routine. Sure you might have to change it up some, but if you follow a routine pattern with them from the get-go (eating/activity/sleeping/some time for you), you're far more likely to have a baby with a better temperament whose needs are being met than one who gets to call the shots in the house.
Overall, this is probably my favorite (more) technical parenting book I've read yet. My only fault with it? About halfway through, in researching a bit more about Tracy on the Internet (Tracy who talks about how she's British, which led me to picturing her as this perfect British nanny, right down to the accent), I learned that she died about 10 years ago (at only 44!) from cancer. OH MY GOSH HOW SAD IS THAT? Broke my heart a little bit... not gonna lie.
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It is also apparently wrong to carry your baby or nurse them to sleep. I read this The information in this book re: breastfeeding is flat out wrong in places. Which is awful for someone calling herself a lactation consultant. I can't trust a lactation consultant who considers formula feeding as beneficial as breast milk. Formula feeding is appropriate in many cases, but to consider it as good as breast milk is wrong. And the way she portrayed this decision actually made me frustrated and angry.
It is also apparently wrong to carry your baby or nurse them to sleep. I read this book because my sister said it was extremely beneficial to them with their first child, but I found it to be a waste of my time. There are nuggets that are helpful to people that are lost in parenting, but since I already listen to my babies cues and talk to my baby, I didn't find it helpful to me. In addition, since I ascribe to a belief that its ok to carry or wear my baby, and to nurse on demand, this book just made me feel sad, and to argue with myself over my parenting choices. ...more
I am also an advocate of the routine, believing that an established and structured order of events will ultimately lead to an organised house and a more s
Secrets of the Baby Whisperer was another book I read while up to my elbows in pregnancy and babies. Like any parenting book of this kind, it tells you that a calm, communicative parent gives way to a calm and settled baby. It's not always the case (there are other factors to be considered) but I do agree with Hogg's advice to a certain extent.I am also an advocate of the routine, believing that an established and structured order of events will ultimately lead to an organised house and a more stress-free living environment. While Hogg's findings aren't groundbreaking, her approach is positive and non-judgmental. There are some great tips here and I would certain recommend this to any expectant parent or new parent who wants to gently introduce some structure to their new world of crazy.
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The writer-nanny seems to be of the opinion that parents are unable to interpret their baby´s cries without professional help. Once you are able to read past the condescending tone (and questionable opnions about breastfeeding and pacifiers/thumb sucking...) there are one or two helpful hints in this book. Only read when you have extra time on your hands, otherwise I´m sure there are better books out there on the subject.
She mentions don't rock your baby to sleep. When mine was just weeks old, and inconsolable, I rocked her to sleep, it calmed both of us. As we gradu
I listened to this book almost four months postpartum. After listening I wondered if I had known this book earlier, would I have an easier task of feeding, bathing, and calming my little one? I think not. In fact, I think I'd have an impaired sense of motherly intuition, because Tracy Hogg's voice would always be part of the decision making process.She mentions don't rock your baby to sleep. When mine was just weeks old, and inconsolable, I rocked her to sleep, it calmed both of us. As we gradually gained more confidence, I found myself less rocking her, and more just leaving her in the crib. She'd fuss a bit, especially during the day, but eventually she'd sleep, on her own. The most important thing for us was to find the right time, not too alert, and not too tired. Or if she'd wake, unable to go back to sleep, would I need to read this book to know patting her back or singing helps. These come natural to any mom.
What I find most interesting is her idea of cluster feeding in the evening to get the baby to sleep through the night. The only time I know one can cluster feed is during the time nature intends it, during the growth spurts, when baby demands it. I have no idea outside of this time frame how this idea will work. Given I had the audio version, I don't know if any PD has recommended/ endorsed her book.
Glad I listened to it after I formed my own style.
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As it was published back in 2001, some minor elements are a bit dated but otherwise they translate to today well.
The book is a bit text heavy and would have benefited from diagrams or simplified paragraphs.
Tracy Tracy Hogg obtained her nursing degree in England, specializing in maternity and neonatal care. Her uncanny ability to understand and calm babies led to her nickname "The Baby Whisperer." In 1997, she founded Baby Technique, through which she consults with parents individually, organizes and teaches group classes, and provides nanny training and referrals. She is the mother of two daughters.
Tracy Hogg died of melanoma in November 2004. ...more
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Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate With Your Baby
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